What Doesn't Kill You
by L0veALittle
Summary: After years of being locked up by Dante and no memory of any events of my life prior to my coma, I'm free from Mount Weather with only a handful of people who want me dead. But I'll be fine, right? At least that's what Bellamy promised me. Who wouldn't trust Bellamy's word? (Post season 2)
1. Locked Away

**I wanted to take the time to go back at edit this little author's note as a thank you. I'm going to start this chapter just by saying that I obviously don't own The 100 or I would have made Clarke not leave at the end of season two. I am a Bellarke shipper but I really like making OC stories. But anyways, I've been meaning to do an intro for a while now. Well, not a while because I just started posting this story not so long ago. But I love to see that you guys are reading my story!**

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Something happened earlier. Something big. The power went out and then a quarantine alert sounded. But it was more serious than just electrical damage and a radiation seepage. The only reason why a guard wouldn't be walking down my hallway or standing in front of my door would be if they were off doing bigger security jobs.

As far as I was aware, I was the most dangerous person in the building. I was the biggest threat to everyone; at least, that's how they treated me. Maybe it was out of fear, maybe it was just envy, or possibly out of confusion; regardless, whatever it was it drove them to locking me up. Though it was ironic that they also put faith in me to rescue everyone. I would love to walk out the second I had my chance. Escaping would be serenity. Even if I died out in the real world, it would still be worth it and it would be a hell of a lot better than rotting in my room. There was a little voice in my head that told me not to, because despite how much it sucked being locked up, I still owed them my life.

I closed my eyes in attempt to focus on sounds. I couldn't hear anything. Not even the squeak of a shoe or the shaky breath of my own breathing. It was previously so chaotic. Everyone seemed to be rushed out of my hall a second ago. There was running and yelling and now every inch of space was filled with ghosts of their presence.

I took a deep breath. Radiation was already in my room, yet I wasn't dead. But level five should be safe, right? Suddenly the silence ceased as a loud alarm rippled through every part of my body. It startled my eyes open. That was the sound of radiation leak to level five. How the hell did that happen? My eyes darted to the door.

I was Mount Weather's last hope of survival, or at least they trained me to be. If radiation leaked in past a certain percentage of the monitored level and there was no chance of getting to emergency oxygen supplies, my doors would automatically unlock so I could bring supplies to the mechanics who knew how to fix leakage.

This would be the first time in months that I would be allowed out of my room, but it was also the only time I had ever been able to help anyone. Every time my room had been automatically unlocked the guards have told me not to leave, or have even barricaded the doors, but now there was no one there to get in my way.

I wiggled my pale toes and used my hands to push myself from my bed. I crossed my arms and took a shaky step towards my white door. Only a few seconds had passed since the alarm went off when my door suddenly clicked open. It had never been that fast before. It normally took a few minutes for the radiation to reach a crucial level. I took an automatic step back and my breath hitched in my throat as I waited for someone to hastily shut it again, but there was nothing.

I could hear cries of pain echo around me as the sounds barreled down the air vents. I pulled up my white dress with one hand and swung the door open with the next. The hall was slightly darker than my room and even smelled different. Slightly musky. I looked in both directions trying to remember which way the support bags were. I was going with right. I pivoted and ran down the hall. Every room I glanced at was empty. I made my way to the end of the hall where a tiny door was.

I opened the door and crouched down looking for the red bag with wheels that they always told me to pick. I realized that I had never actually seen it. They only showed me the door and then where to take the equipment, but they never showed me the bag or what was inside it. It would have been more useful to at least let me see what I was looking for.

There were dozens of bags and containers in the tiny closet. I pushed and pulled black and red wheel-less bags out of the way that cluttered the bottom of the room haphazardly. It seemed like they were just filled with clothes because they were fairly light. There was a space only big enough for me to step in after I littered the hall with bags. My eyes scanned up and down the lines of shelves searching for something I had never seen before. All hope seemed lost until a foggy, white bin caught my eye. It was tinted with red so I assumed it had the bag inside, but of course they put it just out of my reach. I was only 5' 4" but when I stepped on my tippy-toes I could touch the bottom of the plastic container.

I stepped onto a shelf and hopped up just high enough that for a second I was able to grab the container. I fell backwards as the bin came off of the shelf with me. In the same instant I hit my head on the shelf behind me and the dumb bin landed on my bare feet. I gasped in pain and I tried to lurch my feet from under the bin while I clutched my head. The red bag spilled out of the side of the now damaged bin. I stepped out of the closet to make more room so I could lean over and get the bag out. My head spun but I stayed balanced as I opened the container. It seemed heavier than the rest of the bags I had moved. It was large, rectangular, and seemed to have a hard, plastic shell under the fabric. I pulled the handle out and stood up. My head throbbed and I could feel the pain beat like a drum in my ears. My vision went black and I fell to my knees with my head resting on the handle of the bag as my breathing reduced to low pants.

 _I saw flutters of lights peek through a haze of trees that mesmerized my eyes. This was so familiar, but not familiar at the same time. I looked down to see that there was a little girl with her head in my lap. Her blonde hair fanned out across my legs and onto a patch of flowers. Her little angelic face was covered in blisters and her breathing was labored._

 _"_ _I'm scared. It hurts," she coughed and looked at me with her brown eyes melting my aching heart, "You're ok." For some reason she was trying to comfort me even though she was the one who was dying. Her little chest rose one last time, but she didn't stop looking at me. I touched her chubby cheek with my hand. She didn't move or cry anymore. She wasn't in pain now, but she was dead and I was crying because of it. Who was she?_

 _My tear induced, blurry vision gazed at the field in front of me. There were three more bodies scattered amongst the flowers and their eyes were locked onto me. An older lady with dark hair clutched the hand of a blonde boy. He seemed to be in his mid-teens but hadn't lost all the baby fat from his cheeks yet. He still had an innocence_ _about him even as fear etched his features. On the other side of the woman was a man with thinning blonde hair and a chiseled chin. They were all dead, and I was dead inside now too. Who were they? What was this? I looked at the sky and screamed at the top of my lungs._

My eyes opened and I was startled back to consciousness. What the hell just happened? I looked up and realized I was still on the floor. Something didn't feel right. I didn't have the urge to help the people anymore. It felt like a switch went off in me. I was pissed off as I stood up and started to wheel the bag a little ways. Then curiosity got the better of me. What was even in this bag anyways? I unzipped it and opened it up. This didn't seem like an oxygen support bag, it seemed like a survival bag. There were cans of food. I got down on one knee and dug through it. A canteen, water purifier, a knife that I almost cut myself with, blankets, a small tent, socks, extra clothes and shoes. They didn't want me to save them, they wanted me to save myself. I kept a pair of shoes and socks out, but I shoved everything back down and zipped the case.

All of that trouble I went through to get the bag down. Why didn't they just keep the bag in my room or perhaps tell me what it really was? Another flash of anger hit me and I kicked the bag. It was a dumb mistake because my feet still were in pain and kicking a hard object didn't make them feel any better. The bag fell over and I noticed it had straps too which made it a makeshift backpack. I quickly put on my footwear and slipped the bag onto my shoulders. I ran down the hall as fast as I possibly could, but every step hurt. I took the stairs up to level five as adrenaline helped me push past the pain.

For the first time in years I was free, but what could be said about the rest of the citizens. Part of me didn't care now that I knew I wasn't tied down anymore. I wasn't meant to save anyone besides myself. All the ideas of grandeur I had about becoming a hero and then being accepted by the people faded away. I didn't need to be here anymore, even if being that meant having a room along side the other citizens or being able to walk around Mount Weather and talk to new people that were genuinely happy to see me. I could live out in the open and see the sky turn colors as birds sang to me. But the other part of me was just curious. Were any of them like me? Did anyone else survive the radiation?

I opened the door to level five and made my way around until I found them. A room full of bodies covered in blisters. They were everywhere. I took a reluctant step back. I saw children, women, and men in heaps on the floor and in seats, over tables and pianos, and stacked on each other. It was more unreal than anything. It seemed fake like they could just stand up and welcome me into the room, sit me down and offer me a drink. But they were dead, at least most of them.

There was a boy about my age, maybe a little younger, holding a girl with dark hair and boils on her face. His slim face twisted in a mixture of fury and sadness. He was alone, he was scared and he was radiation resistant like I was. Oddly enough after my vision of the little girl dying in my lap, I knew how he felt; I knew his pain. I took a step forward anyways but didn't know what he would do if he saw me. What could I say during this time of grief?

I decided to leave him be. In fact, it was best if I were to leave all together. I didn't know what I expected to get by coming here. I doubt if there were any more survivors that they would want to go skipping through the forest with a strange girl like their new lives were now a fabulous tea party. They lost loved ones and they would be in no mental condition to now go fend for themselves in the wild. I, on the other hand, had never had loved ones. There were so many differences between me and these people. When they did decide to leave, I doubt they would even want to be with me. I was a complete stranger even though I had lived in this building with them all my life.

"I know you are there," he said with a shaky voice before I could even turn around. He gently set the girl's head down as if she would blow up if he wasn't careful enough. Then his red, puffy eyes glared at me with more hatred than I had ever been able to muster, "This is all your guys' fault. You brought this on and now it's hurt so many innocent people. Are you happy now!" he screamed in rage as every vein in his body popped and every muscle clenched. He whipped up and ran at me. I froze in fear. I didn't know what to do, I didn't even know what I did that pissed him off.

I ducked under his hands that were reaching for my throat and tried to run further into the room and out an exit, but he grabbed the damn red bag and yanked me back.

"I will make you suffer as much as she did." He whispered in my ear with resentment as his hands tried to drain the life from my neck. I struggled to pry his hands off but there was no use. I reached back further in attempt to claw his eyes out but I couldn't even find his head. The bag put too much distance between him and me. I tried to scream for help, but I couldn't even breathe. I stomped my foot in hopes that someone could hear it and come to my rescue. Nothing happened.

There wouldn't ever be freedom for me outside the walls. I was so close to living a real life, but I was going to die with the rest of the people of whom I grew up thinking I would save and then be renowned by. I was going down with this sinking ship in one way or another. My eyes closed in attempt to not panic as I had accepted my fate. A tear seeped out of my closed eyes and ran down my cheek, I couldn't calm down. I was too scared. I dug my nails into the boy's skin and he let out a yelp of pain.

"Jasper!" I heard a man yell in the distance. Quick steps got closer to me and suddenly his hands released my neck. My whole body was too tired to want to support itself, so I fell forward. But instead of falling onto the ground and becoming one with the piles of bodies, I fell face first into a warm, slightly sweaty body. I looked up and saw a very upset and worn out man with dark skin and freckles.

I had never been this close to anyone before and although I should have felt uncomfortable, I felt safe. Breathing was painful from the strangulation but breathing in his scent wasn't all too bad. He was different though from any man I had ever been around. His hand pressed into the back of my head as if to comfort and protect me as I let out my emotions and started crying hard. I couldn't make any sounds, but my tears poured down and I didn't try to stop them.

"You and Clarke killed the rest of them, so what's wrong with me killing one?" My almost murderer's sentence made my head swim and my whole body go cold. I stopped crying but I was panicking even more now. This man caused all of the death that was around me? I tried to pull back but he pushed my head further into his chest. Was he going to break my neck any second now? He could probably do it in one easy twist.

"There have been enough innocent deaths today. We did what we had to do. Either all of our people would die, or all of their people would die. They had no one else to keep them alive after radiation seeped in. The Grounders are gone and if we left even peacefully, they wouldn't have lasted a week. Can't you see that?" I stared at a piece of art work on the wall beside us and tried to rack my brain to fit the puzzle pieces together, but I drew a blank. I didn't understand what they were talking about.

"But I was going to kill Cage!" The boy, Jasper, exasperatedly screeched at the man in front of me who grabbed my shoulders and pulled me to his side.

"So what if you killed Cage, the room was filled with people who would have taken his place and continued his work. And if by some miracle you all would have escaped, everyone would have died from radiation poisoning because they don't have grounder blood to help people. It was a dead end, Jasper. It was either all of us survive or all of them survive," Grounder blood? People from the outside…they used peoples' blood to cure radiation poisoning.

"Maybe she had the treatment…what if one of our people died to give her marrow?" Jasper's voice came from directly behind me now and I almost puked at the thought of him choking me again. His tone was dark and strained.

"So what if she did? It seems like she doesn't even have any marks from getting marrow transplant. She's just a girl, Jasper" He seemed to look over me for marks while I thought about what Jasper said. Why would they take marrow from these people and why would the person die from it?

"Maya was just a girl." I heard Jasper collapse on the ground in a fit of sobs. I didn't know what to do, but the man turned me around and guided me towards a way out with his hand resting on my lower back. My head felt like it was about to implode or fly off of my shoulders. Every step I took was shaky.

He could have been leading me to a group full of people waiting to stab me, but I was too out of it to ask where we were going. Suddenly, I tripped over a body of an old man wearing a yellow button up shirt. I fell and as I fell everything went black again.

 _"_ _Your blood will help them, Trisha. You can save your family. You can save everyone."_

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 **Please, please, please comment I would love to take your critiques into account. Or if you like this story please leave a comment, favorite, and or follow. I will try to post a chapter every day!**


	2. Broken Free

**Thank you all so, so much for reading this series. I don't own this story or any of the characters besides Trisha/Sweetheart.**

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There was a slightly sweet, yet musky scent in the air and an unsteady warmth danced around me as if it were mocking my skin and then running away. My eyes were closed but I could tell I was bouncing up and down just a tad. I wasn't on the ground. Wait, was I being carried? My eyes pried open and light unleashed itself to blind me. They immediately closed and I turned my head to the right but it slammed into something. A chest. A seemingly familiar chest. No! I was being carried by that man. I looked up to identify the face of the man who had saved me from Jasper. A halo of light surrounded him and peaked through his velvety, midnight curls. It was a contrast of night and day. His broad shoulders seemed to be highlighted by the light with great definition. Seeing that I was awake, he looked down at me and a smile curled his lips.

"Good morning, Sweetheart." He winked playfully as blood seemed to rush back into my face. How long was I sleeping for? My eyes squinted as I observed my new found surroundings.

Every once in a while the guards would allow me walk outside, but I had only been a few yards away from Mount Weather. I could be miles away from home. The trees were laced with bright green moss that seemed to creep up the drunks like blood pulsing through veins. Every leaf seemed to be slightly different as the slowly rattled in the wind. The ground was like a scavenger hunt. Every object was peculiar and original. There were various mushrooms and each branch and twig was of different sizes and shapes. There were leaves on the ground that couldn't be identified to any of the trees that soared high into the sky. The trees watched over a little chipmunk that ran away as the man stepped on a log and hopped back down. He seemed unfazed by the fact that he was having to hike through the forest while carrying me.

"You can put me down." I looked back up at him apologetically, but the words that came out of my mouth were awkward and unnatural. He seemed to be amused by how uncomfortable I was.

"Why? So you can pass out again or so you can seek revenge on my people?" I didn't know how to respond to that. He seemed to be joking at the same time he was questioning and accusing me of being vengeful. The man smirked at me. I was dumbfounded and could only manage stammered nonsense. He had saved my life and convinced Jasper that I was innocent, yet he wasn't convinced himself.

"Bu-but…" that was about all I could put into words. He laughed readjusted his grasp on me. Did I seem that pissed off that they killed hundreds of innocent people? Slightly innocent people. I should be, right? I should be furious and livid and I should be vengeful. But there was a swell of another feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was happy, no, I was grateful, "Thank you..." He stopped dead in his tracks and his eyebrows furrowed together. He appeared shocked as if I just told him that he didn't kill everyone in Mount Weather, I did.

"What game are you playing at, Sweetheart?" His face seemed to darken and I looked away nervously. I rifled through various explanations that I could give him, but just decided to act normal because nothing I could say would make sense to him. Especially since none of it made sense to me at the moment.

"Thank you for not letting Jasper kill me, and thank you for not killing me yourself." It was an honest confession of appreciation on my part, and that seemed to soften him up. He nodded and started walking again.

"There were enough deaths today," He looked down at me with a shame skimming his face, "On both sides," my body went cold. What had happened when I was locked up? "No reason for a pretty face like yours to turn blue. You've made it this far already." I desperately thought of a way to change the subject as some people in front of us started to push past some trees.

"How far are we from Mount Weather?" He laughed at my question for some reason. With a shake of his head and a lopsided grin he responded.

"Not nearly far enough, but the twenty mile hike makes it seem like we travel across the continent." My eyes went huge and he chuckled again. That's the farthest I had ever been away from home. Twenty miles from the only room I had ever known.

"I've never been anywhere else. I don't know what I'll do now. I thought I knew…" I didn't have my bag and even if I did, I didn't know how to survive. I was running off of excitement and adrenaline before, but now that it had faded I was just confused and lost.

We walked through a gap in the trees and he paused. I squinted and examined the clearing. There was what seemed to be a gate and some big metal thing.

"Welcome to Camp Jaha," He actually sat me down on my feet. I held onto his arm to steady myself, "Now follow me to your room," He started walking but my feet were glued to the ground. I had a feeling that I wasn't going to like this room.

When he realized I wasn't following him he turned and gave me a sarcastic look, "Look, Sweetheart, we can do this the easy way or the hard way." I wasn't very certain I was safe with him, but he didn't seem completely dangerous at the moment. I slowly walked to the camp.

Everyone was having an emotional reunion and it was heartbreaking to watch, but it made me feel hollow inside. I would never have this type of connection. This bond of family and friends was more powerful than I could probably imagine. Every book, movie, and song I had heard of was based off of various forms of love, but I never fully understood it. Even non-human animals had more of a connection to one another than I had ever had to anyone.

"Octavia, take her to the room," The guy brought me over to a girl dressed in odd clothes with black smeared on her face. She nodded curtly and motioned with her hand to follow me. I walked around parents hugging their children. They only to stop and give me a glare when I looked at them. Did the man say something to everyone or did they instinctively blame me for their sorrows because I was a stranger.

"Who was the man? The one who carried me here?" She seemed annoyed with my question. Octavia purposely and silently navigated through the maze of people.

"That," she took a breath as if to second guess whether or not to even talk to me, "is my brother, Bellamy." She easily picked her sentence back up, but cut it off at the end as if to make a point for me to not ask more questions. Octavia stepped into the metal building and I followed her. She led me down a hallway and into a dark room.

"Sit." She motioned to a chair as she stood in the hallway waiting for me to sit down. I sat down and brushed a brown curl away from my face. "He should be here in a second, but right now he's talking to our…leader," She said that last word in disgust. The corner of her lip pulled up in distaste and she rolled her eyes to look away. She crossed her arms, "But when he does get back he's going to have some questions for you, and for your own sake I suggest that you answer them with honesty."

Before I could say anything in retort she walked away leaving me sitting in metal chair. I didn't know what was going to come of me. Even if I could escape, I didn't know where my survival bag was. There was no way I could live for more than a week. It was already getting cold. I could feel the metal chair start to numb my skin. I looked down to see bumps that ran up my pale arms in response to the temperature. Was this what they called winter or fall? It seemed so much warmer in Bellamy's arm with the sun hitting my skin.

"Hello again, Sweetheart." I jumped a little at the unexpected noise. He leaned in the doorway with a coy smirk.

"Hello again, Bellamy." I responded trying to mimic his tone. His face became expressionless and his breath seemed to hitch in his throat, but he quickly put on a smirk again and started walking further into the room.

"You know, it's kind of rude that you know my name and I don't know yours. I mean," he leaned close to me, one hand on the back of the chair while the other came at me and tilted my chin up. My hazel eyes locked with his dark brown eyes, " 'Sweetheart' does fit you," he searched my face for something, "but I feel like your real name is even more beautiful than that blush on your cheeks." I jerked away. Dang it. What sort of interrogation was this? It felt more like a game of cat and mouse.

"They didn't give me a name," I looked back at him and try to keep my composer, "I can only tell you as much as I know about myself." I stretched and yawned in attempt to feign boredom. Bellamy's eyes narrowed.

"Then what do you know?" I sighed and rubbed my hands together as I leaned forward. I gave him an exasperated look, but started slowly.

"President Dante took me in when I was a baby because the outsiders left me to die. He kept me safe and locked up because he was afraid the rest of the community would harass me due to possible radiation exposer, or maybe they would fear me because they thought the outsiders were harmful," I took a deep breath and met his gaze. He seemed transfixed with my story, "He was right. When I was twelve I escaped my room and there was a panic. They had never seen an outsider before. One thing led to another and I got hit. It was bad enough that I don't remember anything before the day I woke up again. It had been two months. I was in a coma," I didn't feel comfortable telling him this. I had never told anyone this story. Every word from my mouth was slow and carefully deliberated, but I could tell he wanted me to tell more, "I hadn't really been out of my room very much after that. But in case of an overexposure of radiation the door to my room automatically opens. I was told to take a red bag of emergency supplies over to mechanics and engineers in order for them to fix the air systems. Apparently they just wanted me to leave. I looked inside the bag before I went to level five," He nodded and agreed with me. He must have searched the bag while I was unconscious, "But yeah, no one ever talked with me about blood transfusions because I didn't need it, I suppose. I can survive radiation on my own. Happy?" He still seemed confused, but he could tell that I was being honest.

"It just doesn't seem right." I had a feeling he wasn't talking about how cruel it is to keep someone locked up their whole lives. The dots of Dante's story always seemed a bit fuzzy and misaligned to me, but what else was I to believe? He was the only person who talked to me, the only person who treated me like I wasn't an animal.

Bellamy ruffled his hair and paced around the room. I thought of something to say that I felt pretty sure about to help ease his mind and confusion.

"I'm twenty years old…a year for every mile that now separates me from Mount Weather." I smiled a sincere smile. Even though I was still captive, it made me happy to be somewhere new, to see a new face, and to breathe fresh air without having four men trailing behind me, prepared to use tranquilizers or sedation gas the second I broke their walking pace. He seemed to exhale in amusement.

"You remind me of my sister a bit." That puzzled me. The vibes that I got from Octavia seemed cold and distant, not anything like how I felt right now. He started to leave and then turned his head to look at me, "You can either leave or stay, your choice. I suggest for your own safety that you stay. Clarke…left. I talked with Marcus a little bit before I came in here and he said you can stay," I could hear some pain in his voice. I slowly stood up.

"Well, I don't know what you said or did, but it seems like everyone already hates me." I reached a hand to my aching neck. I hadn't noticed that it was sore. I suppose I was finally starting to calm down enough to realize that my whole body was hurting. I could feel the pain in my throat, my head, and my feet. He seemed to notice my discomfort.

"I will talk to them if you want to stay. You have pain medication in your bag, but take less than the prescribed dosage because if you are staying here we need to ration everything for the people to use too," What he said seemed fair enough, but I still didn't know where my bag even was, "Tell me your decision by tomorrow morning," As he walked away I followed him out. I didn't know where to go or what to do. I had never freely moved around any place this big.

He stepped outside and so did I. "Are you just going to follow me around like a lost puppy, Sweetheart?" I gave a sheepish grin to him.

"I don't even know where to explore first." I looked swiveled my head back and forth looking at everything.

"Hey, Monty," An Asian boy wrapped up in a grey sweater meandered over to us at Bellamy's call, "you just got the grand tour from Jackson, so why don't you show this little sweetheart around camp? Let her get a feel for what's in store if she decides to stay." Monty nodded and put a hand on my shoulder.

We started to walk clockwise around the camp while he pointed out a few jobs I could do and where to go if I needed medical help or water. Monty explained who they were and how they got to earth. The thought of a quiet boy like Monty being a criminal was peculiar, but I didn't pry. We all had our baggage.

We stopped at the side of camp and he sat down on a log.

"How did you survive?" His voice was soft, almost like a whisper. I could tell that he was worried I would tell him it was because of their marrow. The thought of his friends dying for me was probably just as upsetting to him as it seemed to be for Jasper

I gave him a shorter version of my life story, though it seemed just as long and uncomfortable to say as the slightly longer version. But Monty just sat and quietly listened. When I was done there was a quiet pause between us. I could hear birds chirp in the distance and the sound of someone chopping wood.

"I heard about what Jasper did to you." He broke the silence and looked at my throat, "It's my fault he did that. I'm the one that set up the radiation leak. I reversed the air flow." I knew what he meant by saying that it was his fault. Jasper was acting the way he did because of the girl that died.

"It's ok, Monty. I forgive you…" He didn't seem to believe me because he buried his head in his hands, "Jasper will forgive you when he calms down. It may take weeks, but he will understand that it was necessary. Survival is about sacrifice." A rush came to my head. Someone had told me that years ago. An echo of the words seeped into my mind as my heart rate quickened.

 _"_ _Survival is about sacrifice, Trisha. You sacrifice enemies, you sacrifice strangers, you sacrifice yourself, and then you sacrifice the ones you love. This is a step in the right direction for our people, one day you will understand. Hopefully, that isn't the day when you are the only one left to understand." Dante looked down at me with a solemn face._

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	3. Pride and Anguish

**An extra big thank you to those who are following/favorite my story. You guys are the best. I only own Trisha/Sweetheart. I wish I owned The 100 haha or at least Bellamy ;)**

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"Hey, um, Girl!" Monty pulled me out of my little fit, or whatever this was that kept happening to me.

"Sorry," I pretended like I was just tired as I yawned, "Long day," I gave him a smile and he laughed and stood up.

"At least you didn't hike about twenty miles. I wish I was carried and slept though that whole trip." He gave me a hand to help me stand up off of the wobbly, slightly damp log, "But your neck looks pretty bad, so maybe you should go see Dr. Griffin." Just as I brushed off my dress there was a loud call for attention.

"We are having a camp meeting, everybody needs to report to the front gate!" It sounded like Bellamy yelling. His voice could definitely travel. Monty looked down at his feet.

"Or we could go to a meeting, whatever sounds more fun to you." I laughed a little as we trudged over to the front. There was a huge crowd of people, but straight at the front middle was Bellamy and another man with dark hair and a serious look on his face. He seemed middle aged compared to Bellamy's seemingly ageless features.

"This is hard for me to say," Bellamy started with a brief look at the man beside him, "but Clarke has left," there were gasps and a frantic woman pushed her way through the crowd only to be stopped by the man next to Bellamy. Bellamy and the woman locked eyes and I could tell he was struggling to continue while she was watching him.

"I do not know if she will be back or when she will be back, but after discussing with Kane," Bellamy motioned to the man next to him, "about the unfortunate events that have taken place and the grateful rescue of our people, we have decided that I will be regaining my position as leader. Although we never labeled it that before, Clarke was running camp with me and then continued to run it here. Now that she is gone…I think you get the picture," Bellamy ran a hand through his hair in exasperation, "Honestly, the way we ran it was a hell of a lot better than the way things were here," Passion ran through his voice now. With the way Marcus looked at him, Bellamy was off-roading their rehearsed speech, "I am not your dictator and you are grown adults regardless of your age. This is life, this is hell. Let's stay alive together!" I had never been part of a group but the thought of it seemed more secure than fighting to survive on my own.

Bellamy looked at me. He winked people started eyeing around to find the target of his wink. Then they noticed me.

"Go back and hide under your mountain," A disgruntled mother pulled her son behind her and hissed at me. Her face was grimaced and she had almost the same crazed look in her eyes as Jasper did while he was trying to kill me, "You don't deserve to see the sun," that hit me hard but I tried to stand tall. Bellamy cleared his throat to bring attention back on himself. His face was serious as he looked at the mother/son duo standing next to me.

"The Sweetheart over there was just as much of a prisoner, if not more, as our people. She was abandoned by the grounders as a child and then imprisoned by the mountain men for her whole life. This is her first time ever being free out of her cell." He picked up his volume as he perused the sea of uncertain bodies, "She isn't here to harm us; she's here to survive!" Bellamy stepped down from his log and a path cleared in between him and myself. He slowly meandered over to me while looking over at the crowd still.

"Aren't we all here to survive?" He seemed to be yelling louder and louder. The crowd shouted words of agreeance while feeding off of his energy. Bellamy wrapped an arm around me and continued his speech with a fist raised in the air, "To live freely!" I just stood there awkwardly looking at Bellamy's jaw move up and down. I could feel the sound waves hitting my body, but I was too entranced in how powerful the man next to me was. He seemed to be able to convince anyone of anything just by yelling what they want after he tells them what to do or how to think. Bellamy didn't even notice my eyes start to memorize every one of his features. He tightened the arm that was wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer against him if that was even possible.

"To do whatever the hell we want with no Grounders or Mountain Men to stop us!" They got even more pumped and soon almost everyone was coming at Bellamy and me, giving him a pat on the shoulder or welcoming me to camp. It was fairly overwhelming but better than them trying to use their eyes to stab me.

The woman who tore through the crowd previously, was being led back into the building by Kane and another guy. She seemed to be limping and using them as support. A white bandage was wrapped around her leg. Actually, a couple other people seemed to have white bandages around their legs in the same spot.

As the crowd thinned out and dispersed I caught the eye of Jasper. He seemed to be scowling at me from across the camp. I was about to ask Bellamy if Jasper had said anything to him, but Monty came back up to me.

"Seems like you're one of us now…girl," Monty didn't seem to know how to address me. He gave an awkwardly sweet smile to me.

"Ah, come on now Monty. She's a 'Sweetheart', can't you see that?" Bellamy released me and jokingly punched Monty in the shoulder, but Monty was either too weak or too tired because he actually stumbled backwards a bit.

"Do you have any boundaries with girls? Maybe she doesn't want a little pet name," Monty laughed a bit at Bellamy's responsive eye roll.

"I don't mind it," I said as I started to walk around the two quarreling fools, "Dante was the only one I would talk to, and he would call me Darling. He was kind of like a dad to me, I suppose. I mean, he was the only one who was even slightly nice to me. Maybe it was because he wanted a daughter of his own," There was an awkward silence from behind me and I crossed my arms and slowed my pace down even more.

Dante must have been dead. He couldn't have survived the radiation. But maybe they knew something more specific that I didn't know. I gust of wind blew hair into my eyes and I brushed it out of the way.

"Umm," It wasn't Bellamy whose uncomfortable murmur stopped me in my tracks. I looked around to see Monty staring at the ground between us, "Dante was shot," He couldn't even say it to my face, "There was a lot of fighting and bargaining-

"Don't," I stopped him before he could go on, "I don't want to hear about it. It doesn't matter how he died. He's just dead now. 'The dead are simply dead no matter which way the wind blows,' " I quoted the saying I would hear Dante whisper under his breath from time to time. Bellamy's expression was unreadable. He seemed remorseful but there was something else swimming in his eyes. Maybe respect. I wasn't sure. We continued walking. I was leading the little group, but I didn't even know where we were going. I just wanted to think about something happier.

"He used to give me books," I mused in my memories, "and music to listen to or sometimes movies to watch. He also taught me how to paint. But besides that I don't think I have any skills or life experience to offer the camp." I felt ashamed of how untalented I was. There were doctors, mechanics, and engineers here. Even people with just strength or stamina had a place in the camp. I could maybe tell stories, sing, or paint the metal thing that Monty told me was a spaceship. No matter where I could go, I was still an outcast.

"If you want to stay here then you will find a place here, Sweetheart," Bellamy quickened his step to fall in sync with mine, "Do you think we all came here with expertise on how to survive on Earth? We were just as inexperienced as you are." He gave me a pat on the back and then pointed to a small group of children.

"Maybe you could corral kids," he then pointed out some women cleaning gathered plants, "or you could become a gatherer," and then he pointed at the people dressed in tactical gear who were sitting on a fallen tree and drinking from metal cups, "or maybe when I get home from fighting evil and slaying dragons, you could give me a welcome back kiss." Now I knew what he was inferring. I laughed at his chauvinistic jokes.

"And will I bed thee late at night after a long day filled with swooning over my handsome gentleman?" I faked an English accent and gave him a coy glance.

"You will probably have to get in line for that." Monty's voice came up from behind me, "Our fierce knight has quite the reputation around camp with the ladies." That made sense. Bellamy could have any girl he wanted.

"Do you still want to get looked at by Dr. Griffin?" Monty asked. We had circled around the camp again and were headed to the front now, "I think she has your bag. She was going to sort through the medication and check the expiration dates. She would probably do anything to get her mind off of Clarke." Clarke? The girl that left? Oh.

"Dr. Griffin is Clarke's mom?" I thought back to the panicked woman during the meeting. The look of anguish and sorrow she had was enough to make anyone empathize with her, "Are you sure she's not wanting to be alone?"

"If she's anything like Clarke-

He stopped and thought about his words. From what I could tell, the girl who just abandoned everyone wasn't the best analogy for someone's strength in continuing work during a time of grief.

"She will be fine with seeing you." Bellamy assured me because it seemed like Monty wasn't going to ever finish his sentence. I peered back to see that Monty wasn't even there. He was standing next to Jasper several feet away. They must have been talking things out because they appeared fairly engaged in conversation. But it didn't make sense that he would be forgiving Monty this quickly.

I stepped inside and Bellamy led me to the infirmary. I saw Dr. Griffin with her back to us, talking to a younger looking man and Kane. Bellamy knocked on the open door gently to signal that we were here. Dr. Griffin turned around and whipped her eyes that were slightly red. I gave an uncertain look to Bellamy and took a step back as if to say that we should leave.

"I'm ok," she said quickly, "Please, sit down." She motioned to a table that was in the middle of the room.

"Welcome to Camp Jaha," Kane walked over to me before I could sit down and held out a hand for me to shake. I reached out and grabbed his hand but he put another hand on top of mine and softened his tone, "and my condolence for your losses today." He seemed to honestly mean it.

"I didn't really lose anyone," I said earnestly, "but thank you anyways and thank you for allowing me to stay here." I sat onto the table when he let go of my hand.

"Don't thank me, thank Bellamy. He's the one who convinced the whole camp that you should join us." He motioned to Bellamy who was just standing in the corner observing everything with his arms crossed and his stance strong.

"It was a good speech, Bellamy." Dr. Griffin chipped in with a low voice while checking my pulse. I could feel some tension starting to rise in the room.

"Abby-" Kane started talking but was cut off. The doctor through her hands down on the table and the bang of the impact rang out in the room.

"You didn't even discuss this with me. There was no meeting. Do you think that I'm suddenly incapable now?" The doctor looked straight at Kane. I didn't like being here in the middle of this fight and Bellamy even appeared uncomfortable.

"You gave the reigns to your daughter and now she is gone. When we were needed the most, we didn't make any of the tough calls. Bellamy risked his damn life and he got the job done!" Kane seemed to be spilling some tough love all over the place. His voice was serious and harsh but he gently came up to Mrs. Griffin and put his hands on each of her arms. He soberly let out a deep breath, "I know what you would do right now if you were in charge." Dr. Griffin's expression softened and then started to melt.

"I just want my daughter back, Marcus. She's been through so much and…" Kane embraced the now sobbing mother and motioned for her assistant to assess me.

My eyes drew lines and arrows from Bellamy to the hugging couple. He closed his eyes and nodded as if to tell me to just deal with it. I let out an exasperated sigh and Bellamy took a deep breath. This would take a while.

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 **Hang tight because the next chapter is going to get serious. Big changes are coming and some people will be leaving the camp. Please comment, favorite, or follow! Lots of love**


	4. Fireside Chat

**Yay! I have more follows and favorites. Thank you so much! So this chapter is going to end with a bang. I hope you like it. Things are about to change for my OC, and for Bellamy.**

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"Memory loss?" The now not so tearful doctor, Abby, was finally better and able to look me over after her assistant, Jackson, gave me a pain pill for my throbbing everything. Abby was shining a light in my eyes to check for adequate pupil dilatation.

"Yep, I don't remember anything from before I woke up." The doctor pursed her lips and straighten up while she turned her light off. I blinked and tried to refocus my eyes.

"Well, if we were on The Ark I could give you a CAT scan or MRI to try to assess the damage, but there's not much I can do now. Were you taking any medications while you were in Mount Weather?" Medication…

"Yeah, I think so." I looked down at my hand. I felt like I was given medication for a while but I couldn't remember when it happened or even what it was.

"What is it, Sweetheart?" Bellamy was puzzled by my behavior. Hell, I was confused.

"I don't remember what it was." I murmured. The doctor was passed glances to Jackson. She seemed suspicious of something.

"Do you remember what it looked like? If you can tell us some features then we might be able to figure out what you were taking." She started cleaning up the equipment as I swung my legs over the table to sit up. I thought hard but nothing came to my mind. Then I stood up.

" _Open up, Trisha. It's time for you to take you medicine." I shook my head and Dante held up a blue pill with a cut out heart in the center of it, "You ate and you've had an hour to play, now it's time for your medicine. It's good for you, Darling."_

The head rush left and I took a deep breath. What was happening to me? I decided to keep it to myself until I figured out what all of this was.

"Nope, not a clue," I brushed my white dress down. I felt out of place wearing a dress, but I remembered where I could get more reasonable clothes, "Do you still have my red bag," I didn't see it anywhere around the room.

"It's under the table." Jackson said while he wiped down the medical equipment. I pulled the bag out and picked some comfortable looking khakis, a white shirt and an army green jacket. I held them to my body to check if the sizing was correct. Dante picked clothes that would fit me, thankfully.

"Thank you for your services," I gave the Abby and her assistant a handshake and nodded to Kane. Bellamy came over to my side and told me I could change in his tent. I was about to walk out when he pulled the mini tent from my red bag.

"You're gonna want to set this up, unless you seriously want to sleep in my tent." He winked at me as I stammered frantically.

"I-I…I was joking when I said I would, so don't get your hopes up." I whipped around and could feel the redness flood my cheeks. I had just met him and he was already offering to sleep with me. Sure it was a joke, but I can see why he would get around a lot. Stupid boys.

Dante always told me the noble men in books were lies. He said men normally didn't have that amount of chivalry and it had been that way for over a hundred years now. But then again, Bellamy saved my life earlier and I was the one who mentioned sleeping in his tent first.

"Your loss." His voice seemed to grow distant, but I ignored him as we walked away from the big hunk of space metal. I had more important things to worry about, such as these weird relapses of apparent memories that I was having.

"Nope, your loss." I absentmindedly said as I pondered the entire life I had known about. I hadn't noticed that Bellamy wasn't beside me anymore.

"No, you're LOST. This way, Sweetheart." I forgot that I didn't even know where his tent was. I was just used to walking around the camp in a clockwise manner while not even focusing on where I was going, or if I even knew where I was going for the matter.

Bellamy reached over and took my free hand and lifted it in the air to spin me around as if we were dancing; then he pulled me close to his chest. As close as he could get with a pile of clothes between us.

"You're so corny. I bet you do this with all the little hoes that come your way," It came out before I could stop it. The last book I had read was a teen book and it taught me about all types of slang. Fairly rude slang, but to be honest I had always wanted to use it. I wanted to have normal conversations with people my age and not talk to the same old man every day. Maybe I said the wrong thing though because I could see some annoyance cross his previous grin.

"Don't be so full of yourself, Sweetheart. I just was doing you a favor by showing you a good time. I doubt you've done much dancing in your life," he pushed me away a bit and smirked at me, "but suit yourself." Well, now I felt like a major bitch. That's what I got for not thinking.

I silently followed him to the back of the camp and he opened the tent for me.

"I'll stand guard and make sure that no real perverts try to peek," I thanked him, stepped inside and closed the flap behind me. I attempted to unzip the back of my dress and then finally managed to pull it down, "unless they pay me to peek." I was just about to take my dress off when I stopped to roll my eyes. This must have been his way of being an ass back to me.

"I wouldn't mind some deer jerky right now. I say ten seconds of a glance could go for two, decent pieces of fresh jerky." I didn't think he would actually do it, but just to be safe I didn't waste my time changing. I flipped my hair out of my eyes and stepped out of the tent. Of course the wind decided to cooperate with me and blew it right back in my face.

"Seems like even your own hair doesn't like your attitude." Bellamy folded his arms and raised an eyebrow at me, "If you behave I will get you a present that might solve that." The way he treated me was contradictory and confusing, but I didn't hate it. It was better than him being cold and disconnected like the guards were, "Now let's set up your tiny tent."

It was almost dinner time and I had was extremely tired. Bellamy had been taken me to almost every job opportunity around the camp and had me train with them. After almost 12 hours of realizing I suck at everything, I finally gave up.

The camp had moved the various logs into a circle and started a bon fire in the middle. I was sitting between the last girl I job shadowed, named Raven, and Bellamy.

"Have you ever had rabbit before?" Raven smiled and handed me a piece of freshly roasted meat. I shook my head in response to her question and held the meat up to my face. I inspected it, not knowing what I was looking for. Raven laughed at my hesitation and her boy toy, Wick, grinned.

I bit a piece of rabbit meat. It tasted surprisingly good. I didn't notice that I hadn't eaten since two days ago until they were cooking the food. My stomach had been growling just at the scent of the fresh meat, so anything at the moment tasted good.

"This is the best…" I said with a full mouth. I took three more big bites and it was gone. Wick laughed at me and I gazed at his piece of meat. I was still really hungry, "Did they have meat on The Ark?" I pondered after mentally eating everyone's food.

"I wish," Wick looked at the sky, "but we only had 'protein paste'." He used air quotes with one hand and a look of revolt to show that I should be glad I didn't have to eat it.

"Nothing will ever come close to how delicious deer jerky is," Bellamy held out a piece for me to try. I didn't bother disagreeing. I took it and gnawed at it like an animal, "What we do is we soak it in a brine, then put it in the smoke house for about a day." I wasn't even paying attention to him as I chewed his food.

"Sorry," I said as I swallowed, "I haven't eaten in a while." I handed him the rest of his jerky but he shook his head.

"You can have it," He held another piece in his hand, so I shoved the rest of the jerky into my mouth.

"Hey, do you want to come help Wick and me put my new brace together after dinner?" Raven patted her bad leg. I looked at the setting sun as I chewed the rest of my food.

"I probably shouldn't. I kind of suck at everything. I don't want to break your brace," I was being honest, but I was also really tired which meant I would probably do an even worse job.

"Don't feel so bad. It took a lot of training for me to get the job I had," Raven was probably the nicest girl at the camp, but that wasn't saying much. All the other women were fairly distant, especially Octavia. She seemed to always be off in her own mind, in deep contemplation.

"I used to do space walking missions to fix the external part of The Ark. It was one of the best feelings ever, but it wasn't an easy job to get," Raven laughed to herself, "You wouldn't believe the amount of studying I did." Her smile faded gradually so her apparent boyfriend rubbed her arm for comfort.

"So what if you suck right now, Sweetheart? Just pick which job you liked the most and then practice it more," Bellamy was munching on his jerky while listening to Raven but paused to take a few swigs of his alcohol and make a comment.

"I don't know if any of it was really meant for me though. The only things I really like doing are singing and painting," I heard a scoff come from across the fire.

"So what, you're just gonna be a pretty face and eat all of our food?" It was Octavia. Apparently she was listening in on our conversation. I could feel her anger from across the fire.

"Octavia, please-" Bellamy said with exasperation, but a strong force was boiling inside of him.

"Don't start with me, Bellamy!" She stood up and Bellamy followed, "You aren't really the best judge of character. The little princess that you put so much faith in, she left, and a trail of blood followed her." She almost snarled when she came up to Bellamy and looked him straight in the face, "How do we know that she isn't just as murderous. Maybe that's why she was locked up." Mutters erupted from the crowd and I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what I could say to get people to believe me. She made a good point. No one knew me. To them, I could be anyone and the fact that I was locked up was probably unsettling.

"She couldn't even fight off Jasper to save her own life, how could she fight a camp of people all by herself?" Octavia didn't back down as Bellamy raised his voice.

"Maybe she was willing to risk her life in hopes that you would step in. Now she's infiltrated our camp, played with the children, met everyone. She's figured out how the camp works and how we survive. You even showed her where we keep our weapons, Bellamy! Think about it…" Bellamy didn't say anything back and I was too shocked to stand up and defend myself. Octavia turned to the rest of the people.

"She is the most dangerous threat to all of us now! We have peace with the grounders and no mountain men to attack us, and now we only have one threat and you want to keep her where we sleep?" She was definitely related to Bellamy. She could captivate an audience, "After all we've been through, and you want to risk our peace? You want those who died so we could live, to die for nothing?" It made sense. She was almost convincing me that I was dangerous and should be thrown out to fend for myself.

Jasper stood up and came to her side, "We should banish her." Octavia nodded in agreeance.

"She's not going anywhere! We've already crushed her only other hope of surviving by killing the people who locked her up and gave her food and shelter. She barely has any muscle mass to efficiently kill anyone and she is almost too weak to move fast without nearly passing out." His voice lowered and he moved closer to his sister, "She has been kept in one room her whole life, Octavia. Can't you empathize?" Bellamy directed his speech towards her and looked like she was going to spit at him.

"And look at me now. I've killed, I've grown up, and I don't need you anymore. It's either me or her," Bellamy took a step back and the camp hushed itself. It seemed like minutes passed and I could see Octavia's expression go from bravery and maturity, to utter shock. She almost looked at me but then she just closed her eyes in defeat.

"I already chose you when I pressed that lever…but maybe it was a mistake." His voice was close to a whisper, "If you think you don't need me and can survive on your own then leave," Bellamy turned around and walked away. I just destroyed his family and didn't say a single word to stop it.

"I'll go!" I stood up and directed my attention to Octavia, "I didn't want any of this to happen." I was about to walk away when a hand grabbed my shoulder and swung me around. Suddenly, I saw the stars, literally. I was on the ground and warm liquid ran down the back of my throat. What just happened? Pain radiated from the center of my face.

"Lying bitch!" There was a scream and then more yelling. People were gasping and moving around hastily.

"Octavia!" I could see Bellamy run to me. His face was close to mine but it was really blurry. I could make out his jaw line, his hair, and his eyes. Bellamy's face twisted in anger, and then his fist hit the ground next to me and he was gone, "Go, now!" Bellamy's voice was fierce.

"She's not going alone," It sounded like Jasper's voice. I could hear a few people yell that they were going too.

"Then all of you go." Bellamy's was a little softer and lined with hesitation. I brought my hand to my face as I rolled over onto my side. I felt the warm liquid trickle down my cheek slowly and I touched it with shaky fingers. I brought my fingers to my eyes and saw red contrast my skin. The fire's glow reflected off of the blood and made it almost seem to twinkle. Another figure casted over me and shielded the light from the fire.

"Monty?" I moaned but I sounded congested. His hand brushed my face and I was going to ask what he was doing but all I could do was groan in pain. Even moving my mouth hurt.

"You will be ok, Darling." I could feel my body abruptly become weightless.

 _"_ _Oh, don't cry. You will be ok, Darling." Dante held me in his arms and rocked me back and forth as I stared at my little hands. I then clenched them._

 _"_ _Why didn't they love me? Why didn't they keep me?" I actually remembered this from when I came out of my coma. Dante had just told me about my parents._

 _"_ _It doesn't matter now; you are safe here." Dante said, but I sat up and was fidgeting around too much to listen. I remembered this memory as just crying in his arms for hours, but for some reason I was getting angry. This part didn't seem so familiar to me._

 _"_ _No, no…no! It's not-you're lying. My parents didn't leave me. It's all your fault!" I stood up and kicked a ball across the room. It shattered a mirror that hung up on the wall. Dante's face hardened as I threw my tantrum._

 _"_ _Guards!" He yelled at the door and then got up to adjust his jacket. The door opened and I ran at it wanting to get as far away from Dante as possible, but then two men came inside. They were tall and dressed for combat. One held up a syringe and the other had some sort of metal rod._

 _"_ _I'm sorry, but you are bringing this on yourself. Stop fighting it. This is the only way you can stay safe here. This is the only way everyone can stay safe." His eyes followed me around the room as he stood there with his hands at his side._

 _"_ _Stop it!" I screamed as the man with the syringe cornered me and then lifted me up with one arm. He put me on the bed and I flailed around. The other man tapped the rod to my stomach and a surge of electricity ran though my body. I froze. I was too weak and too dazed to move. The syringe man grabbed my arm and hooked me up with an IV. He added the medicine from the syringe into the fluids and my mind started to slip away._

 _"_ _You will be ok, Darling," Dante brushed his hand across my forehead and through my hair, "We will try again when you wake up."_

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 **Please review any comments or critiques. You guys are the best 3**


	5. The Red Ribbon

**I would like to thank my first reviewer. pennybear37 you are awesome! And thank you to my new followers and anyone that has favorited my story. So in this chapter there is going to be some fluff between my OC and Bellamy haha I can't wait for a good moment for everyone to start calling Trisha by her real name, but that won't be for a few chapters. In this chapter, and the previous chapter, I am making a few references to the book. Omg the book is soooo different from the show. But it's still good so if you haven't read the book series you definitely should.**

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Why was I always getting hurt? This was starting to piss me off majorly.

There was so much yelling and arguing around me and my whole head was throbbing, I was done with all this crap. I had been listening to everyone in the room discuss the best course of action on how to deal with me.

Octavia, Jasper, and three men who had been protecting the camp, just left a few minutes ago because of me, but they weren't the only ones who didn't want me here now. The whole camp had divided in half. One half wanted me dead or gone, and the other wanted to keep me just because of pity. So far the only form of agreement anyone came to was that I be kept under constant watch by Bellamy and/or Monty who had offered to relieve Bellamy from time to time.

"Will someone just please shut up!" I didn't normally yell, but I snapped. The room went dead silent. I had kept my eyes closed this whole time because the light above my head was giving me a migraine, so I was pretty sure no one knew I was awake.

"Well good morning to you too." Bellamy sounded close to me as he sarcastically snorted. I sighed now feeling bad. I understood that they were trying to help; at least, most of them were trying. Kane wanted me gone. But it was all very chaotic and I was willing to leave anyways.

I shielded my eyes and sat up. My face felt swollen, but I didn't care. I saw Abby, Kane, Raven, Wick, Monty, and Bellamy all huddled around the table where I was previously lying down. Outside there were bangs on the door and angry jabbering.

"I meant what I said," I said in a softer tone, "I'm fine with leaving." I was about to scoot off of the table when Bellamy grabbed my wrist.

"I brought you here, so you're my responsibility now. I can protect you. " Why was he treating me like this? I barely knew him. He sounded serious about protecting me, but I didn't need to get in his way. He had to focus on the people of the camp.

"You lost a lot of people because of me. I don't need you losing half of the camp next."

"She's right. If we break apart, we could all die," Kane commented. I didn't say everyone would die, but he was right so I kept quiet and pretended like that was what I meant. I was just thinking about how Bellamy would feel if everyone left. He already lost Clarke, his sister, and some friends.

"All I want is my bag and a gun to protect myself," Bellamy had already taught me how to shoot while he was training me in guard duty. I also learned how to make a spear, a bow, and an arrow when I was taught how to hunt. A few women even showed me how to cook with wild foods and how to start a fire. It was like a crash course on survival, so I felt a bit better compared to this morning when I got here.

"I will go with you," It was Monty's turn to pipe up.

"No, Monty, that's not the point of this. The point is keeping as many people as possible at the camp…so you can all survive." I added Kane's comment at the end to try to enforce my point of everyone staying together.

"I've lost my best friend in more than one way and I've tried so hard to do the right thing. I always seem to screw it up in the end. Why can't I be the hero for once?" He actually sounded manly even though he was whining at the same time. But I could relate to the 'wanting to be a hero' part. Monty was about to say something else but he restrained it. I cocked an eyebrow for him to continue, but he just shook his head.

I let out a slow breath. I did want him to come. I wanted someone to be there with me, but I had to be strong for once in my life.

"You will be ok. They will come back eventually," I looked back at Bellamy who was on the other side of me, "All of them will come back." He gave me a hard look to tell me he disagreed.

"I will help you get your tent," Kane started to walk to the door after some of the outside bickering ended.

"No…" Bellamy started to talk again and I thought it was to protest my soon departure, but he surprised me. Bellamy reached down and picked up my red bag, "I'll take her. All of you wait here." He grabbed my hand and helped me off of the table. Bellamy seemed tense as he went to open the door because his hand almost crushed mine.

As soon as he turned the door handle all hell broke loose. Anxious, psychotic people charged at us screaming obscenities and death threats.

"Enough!" Bellamy shrieked at them and most of the crowd shrunk back in fear. As did I, but he jerked my hand forward to tell me to move closer, "You caused her to leave. If she dies out there all alone, I hope you know it's your fault." He didn't yell that, which oddly made it seem darker. No one responded so he pulled me behind him through the mob of now sullen individuals. They looked almost lost, like they didn't know their purpose of being there in the first place.

We started to make our way to my tent which we put up next to his. As we walked I assumed that maybe I shouldn't say anything because of the stressed atmosphere, but on a second thought this would be the last time I ever had the opportunity talk to him, so I didn't hold back.

"Why did you allow your sister to leave because of me? We barely know each other," I started with the tough question. The one that was on the frontier of my mind. I thought he probably would be upset for my prying, but he was just silent. As soon as I was going to inquire again he started to speak.

"You just like to be difficult, don't you, Sweetheart?" Bellamy looked down at me with our hands still holding one another. His voice was low and tender, but masculine at the same time, "Like I said before, you remind me of Octavia. Before she changed. I guess it's just an instinct to protect you now." I mulled that over for a second and then went onto my second question.

"She was locked up too? Why?" I peered at his pained face and regretted asking it.

"On The Ark there was a limit on the amount of children couples could have, so when she was born we kept it secret. It didn't work for as long as I had hoped." He let out a sarcastic chuckle that rumbled in his chest and sent shivers down my spine, "They locked her up for being born," he looked at me, "Did they have a limit on kids in Mount Weather?" I thought back to some conversations I had with Dante about what it was like to live out of the walls and tried to recall the rules he told me.

"Two, you were allowed to have two kids…" That stimulated something inside me and I took a step back as he moved forward. There was a small tug between us, "Otherwise you were put on trial in front of the president …or at least you were supposed to. Dante decided what the punishment was." Dante never told me that, but I knew it anyways. Bellamy's face looked confused, but I noticed that we were already at the tent, "Here we are. Home sweet not so home."

"Yeah…are you ok?" I could tell he was worried, but I didn't want to worry him any more than he already had to worry. He had a whole camp of people to worry about.

"I'm fine. It's just nerves. That's a pretty small tent and I'm going to have to sleep in it from now on. I'm claustrophobic from being locked up. They actually had to move me to a bigger room a few months after my coma. A bigger room wasn't much of an improvement because it was only a few feet longer than the original one," I mumbled a rant to myself, but I'm sure he heard it. The tent did make me nervous, but I felt extremely uneasy about these memories I was constantly having. Each one was like a trickle from a dam that was about to break.

"You can still back out and stay here," I shook my head in response. Hurt glazed his eyes, but Bellamy moved in closer and put a hand on my cheek. His hand was warm even in the cold outdoors. The warmth spread over my body so not even the cold gusts of air could tamper with me.

My breath caught in my throat as I looked into his chocolate eyes. My lip quivered and I bit down to restrain it. He moved in close and I wasn't sure what he was going to do. His face was inches from mine and I froze as his warm breath grazed the skin of my lip. But then he moved his lips up to my ear.

"How about a present for my sweetheart?" The words filled my ear like smooth, buttery music. I swallowed the ball of words that welled up in my throat because I knew they wouldn't be distinguished as any known language. Just moans and whimpers. I chose for the safe and subtle nod.

"Close your eyes and hold out your hand." He must have understood me because he continued with another whisper. At this point I was just his slave. He could have told me to do anything and I would have complied with him. I held out my hand with my eyes closed. I felt the lightest object fall into my palm. Bellamy closed my hand into a fist and I opened my eyes hesitantly. It was slightly dark out but I could tell what the gift was.

"A red ribbon?" I was confused as to why he gave me an accessory. It was cute though.

"It's for your hair so you can actually see without having to mess with it anymore." I smiled at how thoughtful this was.

"Can you put it in my hair for me?" Bellamy took the ribbon in his hand and tied my brown, curly hair up in a ponytail gently. I could feel his hands graze the back of my neck which sent shivers down my spine, "How do I look? Minus the ugly bruises I have everywhere." I joked as he stood back and examined me.

"Stunning. Now I can actually see your face under that mane of yours." He leaned in and kissed my cheek. I wasn't expecting that. Nope, not at all. His lips touched me and I could feel how hot they were. I started coughing as all the air quickly escaped my lungs from sudden astonishment.

"Don't go dying on me, Sweetheart. We still need to put the tent away." Ugh, I was so awkward. In all fairness, no one had ever kissed me and Bellamy was really attractive. He patted my back and I stopped coughing.

"Unless your game plan is to fake your own death so I can do all the manual work for you." I hit him in the arm for that, but his muscle deflected my punch. He just looked at me and raised an eyebrow, "I gave you a present and all I get is abuse?" I rolled my eyes and thanked him.

We put the tent back in the bag and walked to the gate together. So this was it. I was just going to walk away in one direction and never stop? I saw Monty and Raven waiting for me. It was weird that I just came here in the morning and some of the people here treated me so kindly, but then others acted like I was a plague.

Raven was wearing a new brace so she was able to run at me. She gave me a hug which was nice. She was the only girl friend I ever had, even though we barely knew each other.

"If you want to come back, you can work with me. We could make some crazy stuff together." She smiled at me. In the hour we had tried to build a radio, I had only managed to make it spark and then die.

"Only if you want something to spontaneously combust." I laughed and she joined me. I wasn't kidding though. I could probably make something blow up just by touching it. That's how bad I was when it came to electronics. Dante didn't even allow me to work the TV unless he was there to supervise me.

"Explosions are my thing too. We can make a few bombs if you want to dabble in arson." I hoped she wasn't being serious. I remembered watching a movie about World War II a few years ago. Dante explained that the world was destroyed because of bombs like the one they used back then.

"May I bid thee a proper farewell?" Monty used an English accent that was about as crappy as the one I tried to pull earlier that day. He gave me a tight squeezed hug and I reciprocated. He pulled back, "If anything happens, come to the camp again. Promise me that you will. It's not safe out there, especially not alone." I nodded. Monty seemed a bit more chipper and relaxed than he had been all day today even though he was giving me warnings about how much danger I could be in. I guess he took some time to calm down and reassess his priorities. He gave me a pat on the back and then noticed my ribbon, "What's this?" He touched it and Bellamy looked at him.

"It used to be Octavia's, but she grew out of it." Bellamy said blankly. He hadn't said that to me. Everything seemed wrong about wearing Octavia's bow, but I guess it didn't matter now that I was about to go die in the forest all by myself.

"You've put her in the sister zone, dude. So not game." He was trying to turn me into his little sister. I looked at Bellamy who glared at the kid and then I looked back at the grinning boy. Raven picked something off of the ground and handed it to Monty. He winked at me, "We wanted to add a few things to your bag." He held out a book with a screwdriver sitting on top of it.

"What is this?" I asked him as I took the thick book.

"It is a book of edible and medicinal plants. You seemed accident prone and hungry, so I thought it would help." Monty seemed pretty proud of the idea.

"And the screwdriver is for whatever you need it to be. Digging, stabbing, fixing, you name it," Raven boasted about her idea and I laughed. Killing something with a screwdriver, of course she would think of that. Raven seemed pretty tough though, so it wouldn't surprise me if she already had done used a tool for genocide.

I turned and put the items in the bag that Bellamy was carrying. Then I looked at him. He pulled me into another spontaneous hug. I felt like our goodbye had been drawn out since we left Abby's medical room.

"Just find somewhere to put up your tent and then get some sleep. It's going to be too dark to go very far. Try to start a fire because it will get cold tonight," He didn't seem sad, but he did seem concerned.

I didn't want to let go from our hug, but I had to. When I pulled away he reached for something on his side. He whipped out a handgun and gave it to me. I held it in my hand and then shoved it in the pocked of my pants. Hopefully it wouldn't go off and shoot me by accident.

I thanked all of them with a wavering smile and went through the gate. I didn't want to look back because if I looked back then I wouldn't leave.

I walked through the clearing and then shakily stepped between the trees. It was so much darker with the trees to hide my only light source, the moon. The ground was like a mystery. I couldn't see where I was stepping. They must have used fire or a flashlight to navigate at night when they hiked twenty miles, because I couldn't imagine walking twenty miles like this.

I almost tripped over a root or maybe it was a rock. I stopped and took a breath. Leaning against a tree I brushed off a bead of sweat from my forehead. I had almost been running at this point. Anxiety and realization set in and caused me to quicken my pace. I heard a twig snap to the right of me and my heart froze over. I shuffled to the left and then dashed off again.

I was alone and there could have been creatures following me, hoping that I would trip so I could become their next meal. I wished they had put a flashlight in my bag, or maybe a given me keys and a map to some house I could live in so I wouldn't have to be exposed to so many things that wanted to kill me.

After about ten more minutes of walking at a very fast pace, I stopped and pitched my tent. It was getting way too dark. I struggled to even put my tent up because I could barely see a foot in front of me. I crawled in and had just leaned back when I came to the conclusion that I picked the wrong spot. Something big bulged out at the bottom and hit my spine when I tried to lie down.

I got out and moved my tent and then palmed the ground to figure out what I had lied down on. I felt something round and smooth so I picked it up. I held it close to my face and examined it carefully. It had a little stick at the top and there was a leaf. An apple? There was an apple on the ground? That was weird. I stuck it in my bag to eat for later and then moved my tent back to the now cleared location.

Hopefully tomorrow was a better day because right now I was drained.

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 **Please leave comments so I know what you think! Thank you so much for reading!**


	6. Revelation

**I'm so sorry this chapter took a while for me to get to you. I've been busy lately but I hope you like it. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR THE NEW REVIEWS, FOLLOWS AND FAVORITES. (WARNING: The first half of this chapter is a flashback, so if you don't like flashbacks then skip down to the not italic font)**

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 _I closed a door behind me as soon as I walked into a dimly lit room._

 _"_ _Trisha!" I was immediately welcomed by a little girl with blonde hair and brown eyes. She beamed at me and wrapped her arms around my thighs._

 _"_ _Shh, Candice." A blonde teenager boy with hazel eyes was lying down on a small couch. He looked up from a book to reprimand her but didn't seem angry, "Don't make me tell on you. Mom will be back from work any minute now, and she said she was going to sneak you a piece of cake from dinner…" His voice trailed off and the child's eyes grew even bigger. I laughed at his comment_

 _The girl had to be five years old at the most, but she looked so small. I squatted down to give her a kiss on the cheek. Her blonde ringlets bounced up and down as she turned back and rushed over to some blocks that were scattered over the floor. Seeing her so content with tiny blocks of wood made me smile, but then I looked at the clock._

 _"_ _It's already four o'clock. She's running really late." My smile faded and my eyes darted over to the boy. I sauntered over to the couch and motioned for him to move so I could sit down, "Dad should even be home by now. He had an early day today. Jackson, move your stinky feet!" The boy moved his feet but reached them up and stuck them in my face. I swatted them away and glared at him. He put his feet back down on the couch. Forgetting my worries, I grabbed a pillow and hit the book out of his hands._

 _"_ _You're fifteen, you should act your age," I sat down on his legs and he finally pulled them out from under me. Jackson reached to grab the book that he was reading but failed to do so. Candice saw he needed help and took the book and handed it to him._

 _"_ _Thank you, Candice," Jackson smiled and ruffled her hair, "I'm very mature. That's one of the reasons mom pulled me out of school to take care of Candice. She didn't choose you, now did she?" He smirked at me and I crossed my arms._

 _"_ _You were ten when Candice was born. I was only seven. A seven year old isn't allowed to be taken out of school. You were at least old enough to pick your job training course. Now all you do is play with Candice and read your stupid medical books," I rolled my eyes as he flipped through the pages in attempt to find where he left off._

 _"_ _Medicine is cool. That's why dad became a doctor and that's why I want to. I already knew what I wanted to do with my life when I was ten. You're twelve and you have no clue." He smirked at me and I crossed my arms and looked at the ceiling._

 _"_ _Of course I know what I want to do. I want to go outside. I will be one of the people who gets to explore the world and you will be here your entire life," Jackson laughed at my accusation._

 _"_ _Girls never get that job. You have to be tough and be able to beat people up," I slapped his leg in retort and he flinched. Candice giggled and came over to slap him too._

 _"_ _See, girls can be tough," Candice repeatedly hit Jackson and he pretended that it hurt. Her little hand balled up into a fist and banged on his arm over and over. Her fist came down one more time and a loud bang rang out. It was the door._

 _Jackson flew up and grabbed Candice. I scrambled to get up and then pulled the mirror off of the wall. A little cubby space was revealed. I could see fear take over Candice's face. Jackson placed her in and I showed her a sympathetic smile before I put the mirror back on the wall. When I turned around I saw Jackson shoving the blocks under the couch. He gave me a thumbs up and I ran over to the door to open it._

 _Three men were outside, one standing at the door and the other two holding my parents in handcuffs. The man at the door was the president. Everything clicked in my mind. I did remember this now all so clearly._

 _"_ _Hello, Trisha. May I come in? I would like to meet your sister named Candice." President Dante was very poised as he stood there with a fake smile. I looked up at him with a dropped jaw. Jackson came up behind me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I started shaking my head in awestruck silence but Jackson pulled me back out of the door way to let the president in._

 _"_ _No, stop it! Jackson, we can't let him take her." I fought against Jackson's restraints as he wrapped his arms around me and held me back._

 _"_ _It's over Trisha. They already have mom and dad. They know about her, we can't do anything," Jackson's voice was shaky as if he were crying. I could hear my mom scream from the hallway. Was this even reality. I was worried that this would happen one day, but I never really thought it would happen._

 _"_ _Someone please quiet Mrs. Sole," Dante stepped in the room and waved a hand behind himself to inform the guards to silent my mother._

 _"_ _Amelia…" I could hear my father's voice was strained with pain. I couldn't see him but I assumed he was crying too at the moment. He was always strong willed, but the thought of his daughter being taken must have been just as, if not more, soul crushing as the thought of my sister being taken._

 _"_ _This is all my fault. She was crying last night from a nightmare. I couldn't calm her down. Someone must have heard her, Landon," My mother's voice was cracking and I could hear her taking hard gasps. She was talking about the nightmare Candice had of being chased by a wolf. We had read her the story of Little Red Riding Hood that my mom had brought home from the preschool class she taught._

 _"_ _I'm surprised she wasn't found sooner. Most don't make it passed infancy due to the crying. She must have been such a quiet baby." Dante's voice was bone chillingly calm as he sauntered over to the mirror to adjust his tie in it. My heartrate increased and I tried to push Jackson off of me but he tightened his grip. Dante looked back at me and smiled as I struggled against Jackson. He grabbed the circular mirror and pulled it off of the wall. I could hear Candice's whimpers as her hideaway started to be revealed. I saw her curled up in a ball, refusing to peek at the monster that found her._

 _"_ _This wall trick is very clever by the way. I commend you on it." He said over his shoulder. Then he reached for Candice and I snapped. I stomped on Jackson's foot causing him to release me. I was about to charge at Dante when I heard coughing erupt from all around me and an alarm went off. It was the radiation. Dante collapsed on the floor and I saw Candice's body shake. Boils formed on her little angelic face and she cried for our mom. Jackson was leaning against the wall with his hand on his neck. I looked into the hallway quickly and saw everyone panic._

 _"_ _Candice!" I rushed over and scooped her little fragile body in my arms. She was trying her best to breathe. I had to get her to a level that wasn't contaminated. I looked down at Dante and he stared at me in shock._

 _Only my family knew that was immune to radiation. I was always told to by my dad to fake a cough and then try to hide so I wouldn't be caught, but this wasn't the time to do that. This was my only opportunity to save my sister, even if it just meant hiding her with a different family and then never being able to see her ever again._

 _"_ _You will be ok," I told her as I ran out of the room. The guards that were previously retaining my parents were now on the ground. They made attempts to grab my ankles but I jumped over them._

 _As I ran down the hallway I hit a dead end. Not from a wall, but there were people in radiation suits taking civilians to be treated. They saw me and I turned to go in the other direction but there were other people in radiation resistant suits running at me. These people had Tasers. Dante must have called them to detain me. I had nowhere to go._

 _I set Candice on the ground in front of me and looked over at the team who were rescuing people. They stopped and were pointing at me._

 _"_ _The wolves are coming, Trisha." Candice could barely enunciate her words, but I knew what she was saying. That's what she kept saying in her nightmares and when she woke up. The wolves were the guards and Dante. She knew this was to happen._

 _"_ _Please, help her. She's just a little girl!" I begged the medical team as the armed soldiers were almost right next to me. I touched Candice's little face as she gasped for air, "Please…" I felt the Taser hit me._

I woke up abruptly with my fists ready to attack and my teeth clenched so hard, I was surprised they didn't shatter. Tears drenched my face. Everything was a lie. That's all Dante ever said to me. He was a wolf disguised as a sheep.

He told me that he would let my sister live with us if I donated blood marrow. He thought mine would work better than the Outsiders' marrow that proved in effective. He had the nerve to test the marrow on my family and just put us all outside to see if we would survive. To see if I would survive with that much radiation and to see if the marrow would help my family survive.

I was raging pissed as I crawled out of the tent huffing fumes of rage. He watched them die. He heard my screams of desperation as I begged for him to bring them back in. He didn't do anything. I watched my family die in front of my own eyes because of him.

I dug my nails into the ground and screamed on my hands and knees. I struggled to get up and then took a few steps in no particular direction but only managed to breakdown and fall onto the ground. I sobbed and shook.

Dante ripped me apart, and then pitied me and tried to build a new life. He did his best to erase my memory and gave excuses as to why I couldn't leave. I lost everything because of him. Years of my life, my family, and now my sanity.

I rolled onto my back and screamed again. My back arched and I could feel the anger pulse through my veins. The disturbed birds flew from the trees and took off into the sky. I brought my hands to my face and took a deep breath.

"He's dead now. He can't do anything." I muttered to myself. The sunrise made its way between the cracks of my fingers and I remembered that I had to keep moving. I had to put this behind me, or at least try too.

I rolled over onto my stomach and then shakily stood up. I was covered in filth. I brushed the dirt and leaves off of me and out of my hair. When I looked down I saw that there were apples on the ground and then remembered about the apple I found last night.

I looked at the tree that was guarding my tent; it was dotted with apples. I didn't notice it before but I could actually smell them in the air. It was a sweet and fresh natural perfume. I took one from the ground and bit into it; the juices dribbled down my chin. My stomach growled to urge me to continue eating. Emotional eating couldn't be too bad.

I packed up my tent after eating another few apples from the ground and then shoved more into my bag. I decided to just keep moving forward. I needed to find a water source and some wood resources so I could make weapons.

I still felt Bellamy's gun in my pocket. I took it out and checked to see how many bullets I had. Six. Six measly bullets. But six was better than none. I thought of him and what he had used the other bullets for. I wonder if one of them killed Dante. My teeth clenched in response to the thought of Dante being near Bellamy.

I shook my head, picked up my backpack and started walking. I had probably walked for an hour when I finally heard a sound that made me extremely happy. Water. Running water. It was coming from the right side of me. I scampered and practically flew at it as I bound over logs and rock with as much grace as a deer. So much more graceful than last night.

It was so beautiful. There was a river with a water fall and all of it was clear and glistening with the reflection of the sun. I smiled and put my backpack on top of a fallen tree. I pulled out my canteen and went to fill it up with water. I crouched down and dipped the open canteen into the stream. The water was cold as it engulfed my hand. I set my full canteen aside haphazardly on some small smooth stoned.

I rolled up my sleeves and started rubbing the water on my arms. I felt sweaty and dirty and just wished I could wash everything off. Getting clean would feel like a good way to start my new life. I looked at the flow of the water. It moved rapidly and was extremely deep so I didn't think it would be the best choice to bathe in. Darn, maybe I could follow it up stream to see if it would get calmer.

A twig snapped and I looked around me. It may have been day time, but that only meant I was slightly safer than I had been at night. I didn't see anything though, but now I had the feeling that someone was watching me. I heard it again, but this time I could tell it was coming from across the river, right in front of me. I stood up and screwed on the lid of my canteen. I didn't take my eyes off of the bushes as I walked backwards to my backpack.

I mentally pictured a Dante appearing from the bushes ready to take me back which just made me walk backwards faster and run into the log. I put my canteen back into the bag without looking at it. The bush shook and I saw something move. I whipped my gun out and held it at the bush.

A foal stepped out and its mother trailed behind it. I let out a sigh of relief and put the gun back. My hands went to my hips and I leaned against the fallen tree. Not Dante, just a baby horse. I ran a hand through my tangled hair and watched the baby horse trot around like it was excited about the water. It seemed about as excited as I was when I first got here. I laughed and it froze. Oops…The mom horse looked at me for a moment but just kept on walking behind her baby.

I noticed that the mom horse had black paint that seemed to be coming off since it was now only streaks from the rain. She had a saddle too, which was weird. It must have belonged to someone. I stood very still and observed everything as if it were a movie. I had never seen a horse in real life before.

The foal felt assured by her mother that she was safe and continued to make her way to the river. The cool air blew her tiny, stubby mane just slightly. Her caramel base color mimicked her mother, but baby's mane was darker where as her mother's mane was practically white. Her mom also had a white stripe down her face. I focused my eyes to the middle of her head and noticed something. She had a third eye. There was an eye in her forehead. I looked at the foal and saw the same, but it was smaller. What? They were mutant horses. I shivered at the thought of how the radiation must have tampered with other animals around here.

The foal stepped into the water and started drinking, which was adorable. The mom waited patiently as she observed her baby closely. The foal didn't seem satisfied with the amount of water it was getting from the edge of the river, so it took a step forward. Abruptly, the baby fell in. There must have been a drop off in the stream. The foal planted face first into the water and then was rapidly whisked away into the center of the river. The water rushed over it as the baby flailed around.

I had never heard a horse scream, but it almost sounded like that. A high pitched cry for help. The mother frantically trailed the baby along the side of the river as it moved down the stream. I stood up and ran as fast as I could to keep up but it didn't seem like a minute lasted and the baby was totally under and gone. The water opened up and became white rapids. All hope was lost. I didn't even know what I would have done. I had never swam before, but I felt some ghostly desire to protect the horse.

The mother horse skidded to a stop and so did I. I didn't know what to do. I felt like if she was a person I could say some consoling words, but I felt helpless. The poor foal…poor Candice. Did she feel the same way when she died? Completely helpless and wanting to scream for someone to save her even though no one could? I wanted to cry.

The mother ran her hoof at the ground and made a snort. I quietly walked back to my stuff and was about to pick up my bag when I remembered I had apples left over. I took out a shiny red apple and chucked it over the river for her to eat. It startled her and she looked at me. I bowed a little to pay my respects, but then felt stupid so I just turned around and left.

It had been almost two hours maybe since I saw her last, but I couldn't stop thinking of the horse. She was all alone now just like me. Unless she decided to go back to her owner, but maybe she just wanted time to herself. I chuckled when I realized I was thinking too much into it. She was just a horse.

I kicked a pile of leaves and looked at the sky. I was getting so cold, but there wasn't a single cloud in sight. It was a bright cold day. A breeze ran by and I instinctively went to fix my hair, but I realized it was still being held back by the ribbon Bellamy gave me.

I sighed. I had thought a lot about him when I was walking. I wondered if Octavia came back, if the camp had settled down, if he was happy…

I was off in my own thoughts when I heard a scuffle of leaves from a distance rapidly get closer. I looked behind me and saw her. The horse. It was charging me at full speed. I backed against a tree in hopes that I wouldn't get hit, but she came to an abrupt halt and reared up. She was so massive up close. On her back legs she blocked out the sun from me, but I was fairly short so I guess most people wouldn't have thought she was so big. She neighed and then came back down.

Why was she here? I thought back to the apple. Did she want more food? I reached for my bag and she snorted. I paused, a little afraid that she would try to bite me or something. I looked at her third eye and she blinked. All three eyes blinked. I just continued to stare at her as I opened the bag and pulled out an apple. I handed it to her and she took it just as cautiously as I gave it over. I could feel her warm breath in my freezing hand. I backed away slowly and then continued walking when I realized she was following me.

I guess food helps people make friends. Even if that friend is an animal. Even if the animal is a mutated horse.

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